it is time for me
to play. what is it to be in my body without expectation, demand, or agenda? what is it to give the body all the love, respect, compassion it needs? what are the ways I will change how I view my body? change how I approach movement? what will I let go of and when, that will ultimately put me in a state of currency? what will alignment and congruency look like? Fear is a dreamkiller. change is imminent

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tthoughts/quotes around internal/external and being
from John O'Donohue: If we become addicted to the external, our interiority will haunt us.  We will become  hungry with a hunger no image, person, or deed can still. To be wholesome, we must remain truthful to our vulnerable complexity. In order to keep our balance, we need to hold the interior and exterior, visible adn invisible, known adn unknown, temporal and eternal, ancient and new, together.  No one else can undertake this task for you.  You are the one adn only threshold of an inner world.  This wholesomeness is holiness,  To be holy is to be natural, to befriend the worlds that come to balance in you.  Behind the facade of image and distraction, each person is an artist in this primal and inescapable sense.  Each one of us is doomed and privileged to be an inner artist who carries and shapes a unique world. I am only recently coming to an real understanding, that is not intellectual, that everything I seek externally resides within me.  That is true for All.  What are our practices, lenses, work that we engage in to know this? how is our awareness?  A lot, not all, of information I pay others for, I have or intuitively found already.  or known somewhere. I think there has been a serious distortion in my perception of myself, my capabilities and authority... imbalance that i have been in the process of recalibrating...hopefully for the benefit of others.  It's all been to serve, I think, to teach me this.   Now to be generous. "Man is a shepard of Being"  Heidegger. what a tender, nurturing sensibility that makes me be want to soften into any hard ugliness, be compassionate, objective, accepting of all the bits, and to be a gentle force of a teacher to myself and others. what is Being? Life? perhaps that ecstatic state that happens in the dynamic meeting place of the internal and external universes.  Can it be self transcendent and embodied simultaneously?

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inspiring
Kids are learning how to move in order to be people in the world, but at the same time they're exploring with complete innocence a whole spectrum of possibilities, all in the name of play and exploration.  I liked that conjunction of play and exploration. I still do.  It just seemed right to me to draw on that childhood period where movement is at its most ridiculous and functional.    Pooh Kaye

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Dana Reitz?
That moment can't be repeated, but it's a trained moment, it's prepared for, and comes out of everything that's happened before.  It can be like you're not even there. It goes right through you.

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Irene McKinney
My muscles were talking in tongues, my cells thinking, my skin remembering about something it knew a long time ago before I, my self, had a location to be born from and into

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paradox, balance
I have been grappling with the paradox of how I am in the act dancing/performance and how I am in the rest of my life... or what is accessible to me.The humor of it does not escape me and perhaps I am not alone. Play, Surrender, Being in the Flow of Love, Life, Creativity, Spirit; Trust, Failure, Problem Solving, Openness, Vulnerability, Flexibility with time, Shamelessness, Shapeshifting, Expansion, being in the Dialogue with ALL there is, Being in contact with others in a deep soul kinda way, Being in the unknown, Ability to Thrive with Limitation,  to be seen and to see, to be perceived and to perceive to name a few... All of these things I embody and experience in some way/at some time in performance but struggle with in daily life... either hold this paradox or access my inner teacher in order to show me how to  integrate these aspects. ......................................................................................  . . .....   .. . .  . .  .     .    .     .       .       .         .       .         . " I want to be brash, blunt, delicate and internal... There is definitely a male part of my being that I feel very close to.  I want to express both, as a prototype of what I think a human could be.  I still believe in the goal of a whole human being with all the parts expressed... The goal is an integrated self, as opposed to different parts. Everything I do, even bringing together different art forms together into one form, tries for synthesis and integration."  Meredith Monk "I needed both sides fully.  I needed them interacting and helping each other rather than condemning each other.  The structural side kept condemning the other, but it wasn't really the structural side that was condemning, it was the critical voices which were condemning this kind of freedom" Dana Reitz "you don't develop both sides to be the same.  You develop both sides to become strongly what they are, influencing  each other and helping each other out. If you really listened to both sides you'd figure out problems.  You'd  have your gut, your intelligence, your full range.  Both sides of the body, both sides of the brain.  You'd have the whole system in operation, dealing with the outside world rather than fighting yourself or having this critical voice within yourself" Reitz. integration, wholeness, being in the flow, these are the gifts of the balance and union of masculine and feminine. recovering lost parts of self/soul, under expressed parts having voice, shadow integration are vital and key to this wholeness. dance, introspection, and the BodyTalk system, are a few things that I practice that  contribute or guide me moving toward this....

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whoah, it's been a long time.
I think I went invisible. to me? no....  this has been an intense, several months, not too busy though... trying to create openings in time and space.  I have been teaching more, recently at Studio Current, prior a class at SFDI, and IMP Series at Velocity.   I would like to continue working with some of this stuff, evolving, adding other structures/concepts in. Some ideas this year and for previous 3yrs, that I have been exploring in classes:  intuitive containers, points of view of body, mind, & spirit, belief systems, archetypes, masculine/feminine balance, vibration, body part relationships, cells as black holes, etc... will be getting into elements soon.  I spent 2 months in the P:SA as a Resident Artist, I barely danced. When I did it was in rotation with meditation and drawing.  I was and am so grateful for that time to be centered around my creativity and in solitude.  It was inspiring to be writing, drawing, working with clay, stilllife +photography, movement, rituals, singing, reading... luxurious and healing. Thank you Vanessa DeWolf and Monica Mata Gilliam!  In July, FINALLY, I took the teacher training at Creative Dance Center.  Anne Green Gilbert is a riot and a treat. This is really exciting... Peggy Piacenza made a short film about our time in Cambodia, out of tons of footage from that time, and Velocity hosted a Speakeasy event for us to screen it.  We had a vibrant conversation afterward and I hope she screens it further.  more on that another time.  In the months of Sept-Nov.  I was grateful to be a part of the production of THE SKRIKER, a play by Caryl Churchill, directed by Janice Findley.  Pat Graney! what fun to work with her again!   that was an epic undertaking for them, and an epic work to perform 4 -5 times a week.  I got worked.... up against a lot of things that inspired and challenged me.  more on that another time.

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movingmovingmovinglovingmove
move. move blood, lymph, water, breath, electricity, love, life, vibration,stories, humor, old ideas, new ideas through me.... take the work and play seriously but not the self or the machine/external structures at play... remove preciousness, ego,  and normalize the sacred no matter how ridiculous it feels/looks... no matter what the aesthetic it is...

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the gestalt ish
My dances, regardless of their time code, aesthetic, and means of entry, have been for me, part soul retrieval, embodied myth, illumination & transformation tools, a means to expand and manifest consciousness, a means to experience time and space in a nonordinary way, & creative work/play that serve to bring me in contact with myself, my humanity,imagination, the Divine, and the spirit of myself and others. My body of work has revealed much to me about the course of my life, personhood, consciousness and destiny while still allowing me to remain in the mystery with humor. I like to facilitate a mixture of intuitive processes with performance practices to support an individual's aesthetic, to create/reveal meaning and depth, and to have fun with creative energy.   "Dance is Genius" as a friend says..and you can source from the whole bodymind/spirit, to uncover the underlying components of your narrative, have electric performance experiences while expanding your consciousness, and be in dialogue with all there is. It is important to me to facilitate a process that allows one to find their own voice, to come closer to the indigenous self that is in relationship to their environment and time, whether that is with practical tools, improvisational & intuitive containers, choreographic process, performance practices, or in a healing capacity. As James Hillman said, “ “know thyself” means also know thy peculiar images.”

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classes
subbing for Amy O on the 20th of Feb -  will get into texture, vibration...at Velocity 9:30 to 11 am 2 more classes left at Velocity in the IMP Series...  I teach the next 2 wednesdays 4:30 to 6pm will get into performance work please come down!

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